Back about 30 years ago I noticed women
my age having babies, 30 and up. I was told that this was a great
time to have them. I was often looked down on by “sophisticated”
new mothers who had a whole regime on parenting. No spanking, no
threats, build self esteem, no consequences, ignore bad behavior,
walk away and stay in denial. They prattled on about how a child
should be raised. If you spank a child you are an abuser. They would
look at my daughter at age 16, then at me, and invariably they would
snarkily ask, “Did you have a facelift?” I was only 35. I would
respond “No, why?” “My God, what age did you have your
daughter?” I would tell them honestly and the eyes would roll. Yet
these mothers had no control over their children and I was told
control was a code word for “dog like training.” Their children
were going to be loved, no stings of “no” , no intolerance of
screaming while the mother talked, no obedience at all.
What I learned is that age does not
qualify one to be a good parent. I would observe in horror as
children would tear down displays at grocery stores, scream at their
mothers for not buying them what they wanted. My daughter was the
neighborhood sitter. She cleaned up and saved her money. One of the
mothers called one day singing her praises. “Your daughter is such
a polite, well-mannered girl, we adore her and so do the kids. They
never speak to her like they do to us. You are lucky.” It was then
right after she asked me if my daughter could watch her two sick kids
that had strep throat. I lost it. First, no mother should go to a
party when kids are sick. Second, it was nearly Christmas and my
daughter did not want strep. I responded, “Luck had nothing to do
with it. She learned respect at an early age. She never screamed
like your kids do when told no. No means No, and no she will not
baby sit for you tonight.” I do not believe this idiot was ever
told off or called down for her lack of parenting skills. She began
screaming, she yelled wildly into the phone, similar to her kids
“Your daughter knew we were going out tonight. The doctors says it
is okay, this is a breach of a verbal agreement.” Her husband was
a lawyer, and she let everyone know it, so I answered back in a
parental voice, “What you're missing, lady, is that I am the
mother. I make the decisions, not my daughter, and I decide for you
to keep your narcissistic ass home and watch own sick kids. You
should be ashamed they are sick. What you lack in mothering is only
surpassed by your ego-maniacal attitude. It is always about 'me'.”
Fast forward to today. We have young
adults never taught “no,” they truly are living off mom and dad.
My daughter is still friends with the niece of the lady. In fact,
this nasty lady kicked her niece out after inviting her to live with
them as a built-in baby sitter. We took her in and this girl (now a
woman) to this day is attached is to me. She is a success. My
daughter is a success. Why? Did they have problems in life? Of
course. No life goes without trials and tribulations. They were told
“no” if I thought something was not good for them. All of the
girls would gang up. “Mom I can drive in snow?” “No.”
Being a parent is a full time job, not
a sometime job. Teaching is the most important job a mother and
father has. The children will follow your example. If you allow
disrespect you will get it. If you allow screaming you will get it.
If you allow social services and Super Nanny dictate you will be
raising a child forever. We see this in our society. Everyone asks,
“Why are the young adults like this?” I ask, "When did social services began to say
spanking is evil, when did they take good parents away from their children costing families
their home to hire an attorney? When did people stick their nose into a mother disciplining a child
in Walmart?" That case was dropped. How many parents were jailed when children called social
services? Too many. The follow up on the brats who were not told “no,” are still living
with that nasty mother who left them when they were sick. Adult
children are living off parents. I even know a middle-aged college
professor who is living off Mommy and daddy. Why? What went wrong?
First, the government became a Super Nanny, allowing social services to destroy
families. The lump together parents who innately knew that a whack on the butt was better than
having dependent children, disrespectful children that we know now
grew into lazy, disrespectful, frivolous, adults who want others to
support them. These are the Wall Street occupiers, left-wing
dependent babies that grew into dependent adults. Thank your local
social services, PTA, and public school for tuning in kids to report
on their parents. Now we have a society that is incompetent,
intolerant, impatient, improvident, and an embarrassment to this
country. Thank Super Nanny state and Federal Government.
We who
knew back then were silent, but not any longer. It is time to wipe out
useless programs like Social Services who give back battered kids to abusive parents because the father
was a lawyer. Remember that case in New York? Take kids from good homes and cost them two years of
their life fighting for their kids and losing everything in the
process. Government did not just begin taking over with Obama; in fact, he is the fertile ground already manured with toxic turds that are
wasted lives. Get out your shovels and start shifting!
The party that really disgusts me in regards to social services is that the majority of those working for these institutions are those who have been victimized as children. Because of that they bare this position as a way to save all those from what they went through. In my opinion in order to work for social services you must have had any childhood trauma that would obviously careover into that job. Just like Jury selection...you must screen the self-appointed saviors out. It's not harsh, in fact it is no different then requiring a pilot have perfect visions. Anything less and we have problems. Great article Mary Jane keep it up...haha and add a following option so I can send people and you can secure yourself a readership
ReplyDeleteHave you ever noticed how many crimes are committed by men over 25 who live in their parents' basements? Or, you may notice the stream of middle-aged adolescents who are buying video game systems in their late 30s and 40s. Growing up and taking account for oneself is becoming more rare every year.
ReplyDeleteSome of these issue start in the schools where teachers are given fewer options for discipline and the kids rule. By the time they get into the workplace, they are quite shock to learn the boss will not let them do as they please.
How correct you are Mighty pen
ReplyDelete